Friday, March 23, 2018

Thinking of Motherhood and Its Struggles| Late Night "Diary"

As a first time mom and after almost two years of having my baby (I refuse to use the word toddler) I still struggle and get sad, angry, restless, I cry, and most nights like tonight, I stare at my baby and thank God for having her in my life. After all, it would no be a normal motherhood if all of these feelings were not present.

Today she’s been running a fever and I cannot longer concentrate on anything else. It’s one of those nights that I left my husband alone in our room and sleep with Haley in her room. And I just stare at her. Feeling her temperature, placing a cool cloth on her forehead and making sure she’s resting. I don’t care if I’m tired the next morning.

I am also thankful for being able to work from home and thankful to my employer for allowing me to do so when I told them that I was moving from New York to Massachusetts. Days like today makes me really appreciate that.

It took me almost two years to conceive her that all my crying and frustration during that time seems like nothing today. It was preparing me for the most joyful experience of my life: I created a life and now watching her grow so happy and healthy is the most gratifying feeling ever.
14 hours before my water broke

A photoshoot day we had for being dramatic. Shirts from The Children's Place

Her fever is gone for now, and I hope it stays that way so she can be driving me crazy again tomorrow.

Hope you have a great day and enjoy your weekend.

March 23rd, 2018 12:15AM

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